Disclaimer: Feminism chicks and super uptight people, please take a chill pill before reading this post.
I am not a lesbian or a bi-sexual. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay or bi-sexual because I do have friends who are gay and they are completely normal. But how do I know I don’t swing that way? Well, it was easy. I asked myself, would I ever go down on a woman? My immediate response was, “Euww… so gross! I could not go there.” Done! I’m not a lesbian or a bi-sexual. I don’t know how people can be confused by their sexuality for so long. So ask yourself the same question. If you’re hesitating in answering the question, then perhaps you need to have a long good chat with yourself.
What I am though, is an appreciator of the good-looking and ridiculously hot women. And I think most girls are, just quietly. So when I came across the Eurasian Hotties Facebook Fan page, which daily posts the pictures of the most beautiful Eurasian girls, I was like damn… these girls are gorgeousness! Pretty faces, nice tits, nice ass, smashing stomaches and OMG those long toned legs! Let me remind you again that I am not a lesbian. I just like to appreciate and give credit to those that are hot, because it keeps me inspired and something to work towards: To keep me focused on the road to the Jessica Alba body status.
I know all you feminist chicks out there are saying,”We’re sending the wrong message to our kids because models are not real people.” Err…then where the hell do they come from? I believe they landed on this earth the same way you and I did; squeezed out from a very uncomfortable and very likely to be a hairy place at the time. Look, models and ridiculously good-looking people are just blessed with great genes. Don’t be a hater! Be an embracer. The truth is, I don’t want to open a magazine or turn on the television to see ‘real’ men and women with flab rolls and cellulite selling me shit. I paid my hard earned $8.50 for a copy of Vogue magazine and I want to see the likes of hot people selling me shit, thank you very much! The likes of Brad Pitt totally hitting the mark on the Chanel No. 5 campaign:
Okay, so bad example. Who knows what the hell he was on about, but he’s hot so he’s excused.
What I also don’t understand is why insecure biatches, mostly pretentious and superficial girls (who are by the way, are HOT themselves) tend to be such haters of their own kind. But why? There’s plenty of space in this world for all of you. Just look at New Zealand, they are craving for hot women there. The sheep just ain’t cutting it! I had this exact conversation with one of my girlfriends not long ago. “Jen, I have haters and I don’t know why,” she complained. My explanation to her was, “Babe, that’s because we are good looking. We’re bound to get haters.” Notice how I strategically placed ‘we’ in that sentence, meaning I am placing myself in the good looking bucket. Meanwhile, you insecure hater biatches were like, “Oh no she did NOT just call herself good looking. She’s not all that!” Screaming and pointing at the screen, were you? Okay, so that was a test to see if you are an insecure biatch. If you failed, then please fix yourself. Calm the f*ck down and let’s rewind the tape, because what I really said was, “Babe, that’s because YOU’RE good looking. There are people who are just jealous and want to drag you down. Girls can be so catty and petty. Who gives… and just keep being you.” Everyone else should just chill out and accept who they are, love the beauty within and without of their own and of all mankind. Be an embracer! Take this for a motto:
If you’re hot, you’re hot
If you’re not, you’re not
You’ve just gotta rock what you’ve got!
Daymmmm…. Am I a dope rapper or what?
Apologies, I have issues, I know. It’s the bloody SWAG hat that I now own.
So I took my own advice and ‘liked’ the god damn Eurasians Hotties page, because I am an embracer not a hater. But I kinda do care if people think I am a lesbian, so I tested the waters and texted one of my male friends, “Man… I so wanna like this page. But I don’t want people to think I’m a lesbo.” He then responded with, “It’s cool to be a Lesbo. Maybe you are a Bi? Guys like Bis so don’t worry. Just do it.” Good enough answer… Done! I like! Jump on board girls, it’s okay to appreciate beautiful women! Be an embracer!
We will be talking to the team behind the Eurasian Hotties page soon, so stay tuned for the next post :)
Signing out xoxo,
P.S. If you would like for me to write awesome dope lyrics for your record label please contact me via email@example.com
P.P.S. I have issues.